SK8R LIFE INSURANCE (SK8) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ASSOCIATION (EUSA) ▼-2005.21
ALEX SALMOND’S HAIR ▼ 230.067
CONSERVATIVE & UNIONIST NATIONAL TWEED CO (CUNT) ▲69.99
LADS, INC (LAD)▲1783.44
NATIONAL ASSOCIATION ZOCIALIST, INC (NAZI)▼2.48
BEDLAM THEATRE GROUP (BT) ▲ 5.74
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY CREDIBILITY (UC) ▼ 1.000567
PETER HIGG’S SWAG ($G) ▲∞
BOTECO (BOT) ▲ 456.34
AVERAGE AGE IN TEVIOT (OLD) ▲ 67.45
PANDA CHILDCARE UK PLC (PCU) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
MILEY CYRUS EDINBURGH FAN CLUB (TWERK)▲ 42.67
DIRECTION OF NOSES UPON MENTION OF EDINBURGH NAPIER (NOZ) ▲ 90.00
EXAM PERFORMANCE IN MCEWAN HALL (STARE) ▼ 11.000567
TEVIOT CHIPS (SHIT)▼ 56.23

Local

Published on September 14th, 2013 | by Flipside

0

17th place position new excuse for university to be lazy

University officials cheered this morning as Edinburgh finally regained ‘Top 20’ status in the world according to the QS Rankings, the most prestigious and CORRECT, definitely CORRECT and TRUE, university rankings system in the world. With a top 20 spot secured, University management can now return to their default setting of being incredibly lazy and passive aggressive towards students.

All initiatives to improves student satisfaction and university experience that cost money have been dropped in order to fund a year-long bender for University staff. We attempted to contact Vice-Chancellor Sir Timothy O’Shea for comment, but he was already totally pissed.

Hugh Murdoch, President of Edinburgh University Students’ Union, said he was disappointed by the whole outcome. “I almost wish we’d fallen out of the QS rankings. Sure, it’s terrible when students apply for jobs, but it means the University look like shit-munchers and I get to look like a hero!” Lacking a heroic undertaking for him to involve himself in, Hugh returned to bothering Freshers who had no idea who he was or what his job involves.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditEmail this to someone

Tags: , , , , , , ,


About the Author



Comments are closed.

Back to Top ↑