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Commentary

Published on October 2nd, 2017 | by Flipside

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4 Ways to Perform the Shit out of Feminism

 

Edinburgh, UK – There’s no shame in admitting it—many of us come to uni only to realize that the brand of feminism we’ve touted since we bought that ‘GRL PWR’ t-shirt in high school isn’t as edgy as we once thought it was. At home, you may have been a revolutionary fish in a predominantly white, middle class suburban pond, but here, you’re just an average fish in a predominantly white, middle class urban pond.

 

So…what now? Do you take advantage of the multiplicity of perspectives available to you at university to reevaluate and revise your beliefs about the intersectionality of oppression in an ongoing and often uncomfortable process of listening and learning with humility, empathy and open-mindedness? Of course not, you silly skank! You’re hot, young and drunk and you don’t have time to be reading postcolonial feminist theory or thinking about the whitewashed activism of Lena Dunham, who—let’s be honest—is kinda fat. All you need to do is cultivate the appearance of feminism, so you can leave the rest of these activist bitches in the dust. Here are our top tips on how to perform the shit out of feminism.

 

  1. It’s easy to attach feminist values to many of the habits you already practice. This is an easy way to change your lifestyle not a whit, while appearing to be a warrior of gender equality. For example, do you wear makeup? You’re a third wave feminist rejecting the second wave equivalence of femininity with weakness! Do you not wear makeup? You’re rebelling against the expectations of beauty imposed on women by the patriarchy! See? It’s easy make feminism fit you and your lifestyle.

 

  1. Surround yourself with gal pals who share your ‘enthusiasm’ for ‘feminism’. This works best if they also share your race, sexual orientation and socio-economic status, so that everyone is on the same page about your shared worldview. Believe it or not, an abundance of evidence proves that it is indeed possible to remain inside the bubble of your #girlgang throughout university, and even for the rest of your life!

 

  1. Use your vaginal yeast to bake a loaf of bread. This one’s pretty self-explanatory.

 

  1. Identity is a complex intersection between the articles you share and those you ‘like’ on Facebook. Just demonstrate literally any amount of interest in feminist content and your friends will get the message—you’re a badass feminist goddess! But don’t freak—this doesn’t have to involve critical thinking, or even any substantive amount of reading. (That’s what are headlines for, you dumb slut!)

 

Now it’s time for your big performance—get out there and change absolutely nothing!

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