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Published on March 23rd, 2017 | by Flipside

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5 Signs Your Partner Writes For The Student

1. When you gaze into their eyes, you see nothing but the cold, dead heart of a soon-to-be graduate clinging onto the CV-pipedream of student journalism.
2. They frequently refer to things as ‘meta’ even though they don’t really know what it means.
3. You’re lying in bed together at night, but you suspect they are thinking about something else (the seven humiliatingly long years since they last won an award).
4. Their attempts at charming humour – which they invariably term ‘banter’ – fall flat, and leave you feeling hollow and used.
5. You worry they have a suspiciously intimate relationship with student politics, and once caught them dry humping a campaign poster for Johnny Ross-Tatam.

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