Published on December 30th, 2015 | by Flipside0
5 Things Better than Edinburgh’s Hogmanay
2016 draws near, and Edinburgh’s Hogmanay celebration is one of the biggest New Year’s parties in the world! But there’s loads of other stuff going on in the Auld Reekie this December 31st, so why not check out one of these many fun alternatives?
1. Strangling yourself to death:
Some people love a good street party where Lily Allen is performing, but as a cool alternative you could also attempt the impossible by trying to strangle yourself with your own bare hands! See in the New Year with your eyes bulging and a complete inability to breathe for an authentic Scottish experience.
2. Take drugs alone:
Why surround yourself with the hustle and bustle of other people, the drunken hoards and chaos of Princes St, when you could just as well take seven hits of LSD on your own, throw on some psytrance and see what happens? Mix with eckies for an authentic Scottish experience.
3. Contract Syphilis:
Say what you like about STDs, but it’s probably the funnest way to contract an infection. Syphilis is one of the more exciting and exotic ones, very European, so choose your partner for that midnight kiss carefully!
4. Visit the North of England:
Everyone knows the North is what dreams are made of – love, happiness, puppies and the smiles of children abound in Manchester, Hull and Bradford, so why not give it a try!
5. Kill everyone and leave their bodies in a ditch:
A great way to start the new year! People are awful and you hate them, so why not make them all die and subtly leave their bodies in a ditch. And you’ll make the headlines! Promises to be an authentic Scottish experience.