SK8R LIFE INSURANCE (SK8) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ASSOCIATION (EUSA) ▼-2005.21
ALEX SALMOND’S HAIR ▼ 230.067
CONSERVATIVE & UNIONIST NATIONAL TWEED CO (CUNT) ▲69.99
LADS, INC (LAD)▲1783.44
NATIONAL ASSOCIATION ZOCIALIST, INC (NAZI)▼2.48
BEDLAM THEATRE GROUP (BT) ▲ 5.74
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY CREDIBILITY (UC) ▼ 1.000567
PETER HIGG’S SWAG ($G) ▲∞
BOTECO (BOT) ▲ 456.34
AVERAGE AGE IN TEVIOT (OLD) ▲ 67.45
PANDA CHILDCARE UK PLC (PCU) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
MILEY CYRUS EDINBURGH FAN CLUB (TWERK)▲ 42.67
DIRECTION OF NOSES UPON MENTION OF EDINBURGH NAPIER (NOZ) ▲ 90.00
EXAM PERFORMANCE IN MCEWAN HALL (STARE) ▼ 11.000567
TEVIOT CHIPS (SHIT)▼ 56.23

Local

Published on March 17th, 2016 | by Flipside

0

5 Things We Learnt from the EUSA Elections

  1. Students don’t know how to use MyED

Clearly, if they did, EVERYONE would have voted. As it was, only about 10% of the student population voted, even for the president. Obviously student politics is really really super important, so the only possible explanation is that we, collectively, don’t understand how to use MyEd. Sort it out, EUSA!

  1. Sabbs are more translucent than normal students

As all the current Sabb team stood under lights and announced their successors, it became clear that they are, in general, much, much shinier than other students. Bathed in an ethereal glow, their skin shimmering like Mr. Burns in that X-Files episode of the Simpsons, it became clear that there is something special and magical about the Sabb team that truly sets them apart from we mere mortals

  1. EUSA photographers have a great sense of humour

For all four main Sabb positions, the canny photographers managed to capture the winners, with their devastated opponents sobbing in the background. Intentional or not, Flipside believes this really helps to drive home the importance of competition, and winning, that the EUSA elections stand for

  1. Like snowflakes, no two Sabbs are exactly the same

In a shocking turn of events, all the new Sabbs are NOT IDENTICAL to their predecessors. Flipside honestly believed that Sabbs, much like Dr. Who, just sort of regenerated but no…they’re all actually different people!

  1. Edinburgh is bigger than the small student-political circle

Hotly tipped long-time EUSA hacks who seemed to believe their path to victory was assured got beaten by rank outsiders who are nicer and ran better campaigns that focused more on the students they intend to represent. Who knew!?!

 

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditEmail this to someone


About the Author



Comments are closed.

Back to Top ↑