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Published on February 27th, 2017 | by Flipside

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Academy Suddenly Realises Jazz is Shit

 

The 2017 Academy Awards ceremony was rocked by controversy last night as the Best Picture award was almost mistakenly awarded to a film based on the musical genre of jazz.

Organisers had to step in at the last moment to halt proceedings after they suddenly realised that jazz is self-indulgent nonsense and the people who play it certainly don’t need any one else giving them a pat on the back.

A spokesperson for PricewaterhouseCoopers, the accountancy firm hired to oversee the Oscars ballots, said,

‘I don’t know what we were thinking, the votes clearly said Moonlight was the winner, but we thought ‘yeah let’s say it was La La Land, it’s cool, jazz is cool.’ Maybe Russia influenced us or something? Because it’s not. As any sane person knows it’s like cricket. It goes on too long, no one understands the rules and the best bits are when nothing happens.’

‘Still, I think we got away with it without any one noticing.

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