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Commentary

Published on November 26th, 2016 | by Flipside

0

Alt-Right Demand Trump Sends Space Mission To The Dark Side Of The Moon

In recent weeks the Alternative Right/ Alt-Right (the normal right’s edgier and more genocide friendly  and swastika keen cousin) have been gathering publicity. Cheeky Nazi Salutes at gatherings, racist banter and attempting to replace AltGr on Keyboards are just some factors which have contributed to this rise.

Many critics have called Trump’s decision to build a wall between the boarder of Mexico and America “a bit batshit”. However this week the Alt-Right have demanded Trump go one step further, by sending a space mission to the rumoured Nazi base which sits on the dark side of the moon.

Flipside have managed to gain comment from an Alt-Right spokesperson on the issue,

After some badly spoken German and another offensive salute, they said, “Look, it isn’t insane at all. We aren’t Nazi’s we just like some of their ideas. Like the salutes are pretty fun and Hitler had some interesting things to say. Much like hipsters, you probably wouldn’t identify as a hipster because they are douchebags, but we all have to admit they sometimes do some cool stuff. We just feel we should see if there is a base from the 1930’s on the dark side of the moon, I’m just, like, curious. The corrupt bastards at NASA can finally stop fucking around and do something useful.”

Unfortunately for the spokesperson, Flipsides Bavid Dard is practically seen as Hipster Nobility and didn’t take the comments well. After a heated debate the spokesperson continued,

“It isn’t insane at all. You keep comparing us to Neo Nazi’s and we are fine with that. But don’t actually call us Neo Nazi’s jeeze. It is like comparing a satsuma to an orange, or a green apple to a red apple. They aren’t really remotely similar. We just want to talk to Hitler and see what he has been up to, maybe have a skype session and see if his ideas are a bit more palatable to the modern world. And if he isn’t in hopefully some nice general can give us some good words of encouragement and give us some ideas to take forward with our own hugely racist and proto-fascist movement. For fucks sake, Pink Floyd got to make a whole album on the dark side of the moon. All we want to do is sent a space ship there. Is that too much to ask.

In this moment Bavid Dard could do little but weep into his tea, and as he drank the once beautiful thing turned bitter by salty water he wandered what the world had become.

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