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Local

Published on September 14th, 2013 | by Flipside

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American fresher excited to play FIFA for four years

Having met his new flatmates in Pollock Halls, average American Fresher, Cody Watts, from Boston Massachusetts, is excited to spend the next four years getting good at FIFA.

“I previously only played FIFA a couple of times. Soccer isn’t that big in Boston, we have an MLS team but even by those standards they suck. After spending a few days with my new friends, I realise FIFA is like 80% of their daily activity, and TBH that’s great, I was scared people might come here and actually study all the time or something. Ain’t no better way to get through a hangover than schooling some fools with Newcastle, they’re my new team – I like their colors. (sic)” (Cody was so American he was able to pronounce the word colour in such a way that it was clear it had no ‘u’ in it.)

The University of Edinburgh released a statement on the matter where it made itself clear that it didn’t know what FIFA was; “The University of Edinburgh is so proud that the tradition of FIFA, something clearly observed in the University’s founding in 1583, continues at Edinburgh in 2013. Things like this are what makes us the 17th best University in the World.”

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