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Published on April 12th, 2017 | by Flipside

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Dog Discovers It Was Being Two-Timed By Girl It Met Online

A dog has been left heartbroken after discovering the girl it met on the doggy-human dating website BorrowMyDoggy has been seeing other dogs behind his back.

Black Labrador Dougal, aged four and a half, said,

‘I still remember our first date. It was early February, she took me for a walk along the canal. The bright winter sun glistened off of the water, there was a chill in the air but I didn’t notice it. My heart was racing, I had never felt such an intense affinity with anyone before. It was like we were the same being occupying different mortal frames. She didn’t even have to ask me if I wanted to play fetch. She just knew. Afterwards she walked me home and outside my front door we bopped noses for the first time.’

‘But what does that all mean now? I was out with my owner and there she was, shamelessly getting kisses from some collie with a pink collar. What a bitch. She saw me and acted like nothing was wrong. But she has a hold over me you see, my tail started wagging uncontrollably. But it’s lies, all lies, when she told me I was a good boy! How many others has she said that too?!’

Shameless canine-fuckboy Claire Morris commented,

‘He’s not the first and he won’t be the last. In fact I have five regular doggos that I like to meet up with, that’s not to mention the ones that I’ll meet in a bar, or on the street. Anyway, he’ll get over it. Only I know where to scratch his belly in that special way so his back leg starts to kick out.’

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