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Sports

Published on January 22nd, 2016 | by Flipside

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Athlete Tests Negative for Steroids

The athletics world was left in shock today after Osain Nut-Bolt – a Jamaican sprinter who finished 8th in his 100m semi-final at the 2015 World Championships in Athletics – tested negative for all known steroids and other banned substances.

Nut-Bolt’s ‘B’ sample has been sent off for a re-test, but if it also proves to be negative, this will be the first time an athlete or cyclist has legitimately passed a drugs test since the Mexico Olympics in 1968.

Despite the glimmer of hope that Nut-Bolt’s sample seemingly gives to the athletics world, the response amongst his fellow sprinters has been lukewarm at best.

Former 100m world recorder holder Justin Fatlin said: “We talk about stamping out drug use creating a level playing field in our sport, but Nut-Bolt’s negative test creates a different type of uneven playing field – a moral one.

“How can us non-clean athletes legitimately win over the fans and sponsorship providers that we need to, if people like this imbecile keep displaying integrity and honesty; it simply makes the whole bunch of us look bad.”

At a press conference to announce the news, Scottish Athletics big-wig Alan Wells was quick to complain that no Scottish athletes had recently tested positive for banned substances, and that this should be getting similar coverage, before this claim was quashed.

“You actually have to be at least mildly decent to get tested,” said an International Athletics Federation spokesperson.

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