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Commentary

Published on March 23rd, 2017 | by Flipside

0

Berlin a Better Influence than International Terrorism

Reports by the BBC suggesting yesterday’s terrorist act was carried out by a lone wolf influenced by international terrorism has prompted the world to think, ‘be influenced by Berlin instead.’

One passer-by said, ‘Ah Berlin, You’ve never been? “Du bist verrückt mein Kind, du mußt nach Berlin.”

Another, upon hearing the word ‘Berlin’ revered, ‘The city of Marlene Dietrich, George Grosz, Hans Fallada and Heinz Drossel!’

By now, a crowd was forming excitedly discussing the positive influences and benefits Berlin has had on humanity.

‘I like to sit by the banks of the Spree at a café eating schokotorte.’

‘I’m well into my techno, nowhere beats Berlin for a night out. Finishing off with a Mustafa’s Gemüse Kebap on the way home!’

‘I could spend a year on Museum Island. It’s free on Monday’s!’

‘Y’know, just chill with a beer and a book for a while at Haus Schwarzenberg.’

‘I like to sit stark-bollock naked of a Saturday in the Tiergarten.’

‘The transport network is second to none.’

‘You must go to the C/O photography gallery!’

When we are all gone from this world, people will still be singing Heroes by David Bowie. No one will remember the acts of terror. Be influenced by something good like Berlin. That is immortality

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