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Published on November 18th, 2013 | by Flipside

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Big Cheese 30,000 over capacity

Following on from the underage drinking scandal earlier this year, Potterrow’s future is once again in doubt after it was revealed that EUSA door staff allowed this Saturday’s ‘Big Cheese’ to exceed its capacity of 1,500 by almost 30,000.

Speaking to Flipside, 4th year Quantum Aesthetics student Jack Doff said, “It was really uncomfortable inside ‘The Venue’ from about midnight, but it became ridiculous at about 2am, when security staff attempted to vacuum pack intoxicated students into the Advice Place in the name of safety, despite maintaining there was nothing unusual about the situation.”

EUSA employees have struggled to comprehend how the overcrowding occurred, since the door staff are equipped with state-of-the-art tally counters, all of which read exactly 1500 at the end of the night.

Attempting to expound this seemingly unexplainable mismatch between tally counter and actual club population, EUSA President Hugh Murdoch said, “Yeah, well it’s a bit like the word count on an essay. You type in the number you know should actually be there to give what you’re doing an air of legitimacy, but in reality it’s literally complete bullshit.”

In response to accusations of tomfoolery and rule-bending, EUSA Vice President Services Kirsty Haigh said, “For fuck’s sake, don’t be dicks about it. We’re 300k in debt, that money isn’t going to come from nowhere. Am I right?”

Murdoch added: “It’s all chat though really isn’t it.”

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