SK8R LIFE INSURANCE (SK8) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ASSOCIATION (EUSA) ▼-2005.21
ALEX SALMOND’S HAIR ▼ 230.067
CONSERVATIVE & UNIONIST NATIONAL TWEED CO (CUNT) ▲69.99
LADS, INC (LAD)▲1783.44
NATIONAL ASSOCIATION ZOCIALIST, INC (NAZI)▼2.48
BEDLAM THEATRE GROUP (BT) ▲ 5.74
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY CREDIBILITY (UC) ▼ 1.000567
PETER HIGG’S SWAG ($G) ▲∞
BOTECO (BOT) ▲ 456.34
AVERAGE AGE IN TEVIOT (OLD) ▲ 67.45
PANDA CHILDCARE UK PLC (PCU) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
MILEY CYRUS EDINBURGH FAN CLUB (TWERK)▲ 42.67
DIRECTION OF NOSES UPON MENTION OF EDINBURGH NAPIER (NOZ) ▲ 90.00
EXAM PERFORMANCE IN MCEWAN HALL (STARE) ▼ 11.000567
TEVIOT CHIPS (SHIT)▼ 56.23

Politics

Published on April 18th, 2014 | by Flipside

0

Bizarre cult commences annual celebration of homeless man’s death by torture

A bizarre cult dating back 2000 years is celebrating its annual holiday of ‘Good Friday’ today. Despite the name, the feast commemorates the death of an impoverished traveler at the hands of authorities in a bizarre and torturous manner. The Roman Catholic Church, a large organisation based in Rome, Italy, and other associated ‘Christian’ sects, celebrate the holiday every year on a random Friday in Spring.

The event is celebrated by a series of marches around city squares, and through ‘mass’ a ritual where a crowd sit and stand repeatedly whilst reading out passages of a book, and then consume a thin wafer. The Good Friday mass is unique, in that the crowds gathering in designated buildings called ‘Churches’ pretend to be the crowd that put the aforementioned homeless man, Jesus, to death. The odd practices are followed by millions worldwide, with many people getting time off work.

University of Edinburgh sociologist, Dr. John Goodwin, said, “It really is puzzling that this still goes on. The cult had its high point in the Middle Ages, when it effectively ran Europe like the mafia, and has waned in power since then, partially due to infighting, partially because most people know better.”

The branch of the sect at Edinburgh University, the University of Edinburgh Catholic Students Union, which has its own building, commented, “This holiday is crucial for understanding an important part of the social justice message of the Catholic Church; the torture and murder of a homeless Middle Eastern man by a European military power.”

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditEmail this to someone

Tags: , , , , , ,


About the Author



Comments are closed.

Back to Top ↑