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Published on February 2nd, 2016 | by Flipside

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Fresher Discovers Pink Floyd

Breaking News: A young, impressionable first year student residing in the depths of Baird House, Pollock Halls, has recently discovered legendary psychedelic band Pink Floyd.

Timothy Wort, a lifelong fan of Blue, Nickelback and the Spice Girls (sorry to any Spice Girls fans for mentioning them in the same breath as Nickelback, but these be the facts), had just smoked a marijuana cigarette with his new American friend ‘Jazz’ (his real name is Jamie, but he insists on being called Jazz). In their stoned silence, Jazz decided to introduce Timothy to Pink Floyd’s spacey, psychedelic grooves by playing him their eighth and most successful album, The Dark Side of the Moon.

After the most emotional 42 minutes and 49 seconds of his life, Timothy broke down and wept the first tears he had wept since childhood, and had a spiritual epiphany on the spot. He is now vegan, has joined BuddSoc and started meditating twice a day, and puts on The Wall at every single party he gets invited to, meaning he no longer gets invited to any parties.

Timothy was last seen wandering the Pentland Hills naked on seventeen hits of LSD, muttering about his favourite parts of Alice in Wonderland and listening to the tripped-out wackadoo psych-prog of space-jazz outfit Gong.

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