Published on February 25th, 2016 | by Flipside0
Boring white people dominate Brit Awards
Despite recognition for one dead Jew and three black non-British artists across the nominations for thirteen categories, every single prize at last night’s Brit Awards was won by a really boring white person.
Living black people from the UK were understandably upset at the fact that being dead and Jewish gave you a better chance of a nomination than being black and alive, but it was nonetheless a fantastic night for unimaginative white people everywhere. Adele won four awards, while Justin Bieber, One Direction, Coldplay and pound-shop Pete Doherty James Bay were all recognised for their contribution to the music adored by boring white people and small children who have never been exposed to anything better.
“We feel dead Jews are often under-represented at awards shows, and we thought it was finally time to address that. If anything, it’s a progressive step” said a spokesperson for the Brits Council. “But it just wouldn’t be the Brits if really tedious white artist didn’t absolutely clean up. Give us credit – Ed Sheeran didn’t win anything this year, and that’s progress”
Tama Impala and Bjork also won awards, which is nice, but it’s kinda devalued when you look at the rest of the winners.