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Published on December 8th, 2015 | by Flipside

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Breaking News: Flipside Has Exams Too

In a surprising turn of events, it turns out all of the writers of Edinburgh Flipside have exams too. Yeah. Fuck.

During an interview with divinities lecturer Professor Paul Foster on the subject of how freshers’ exam results will form their identity numbers after the coming apocalypse, Prof. Foster reached out to us saying, “Erm, Kevin, have you revised for your exam? The one on Wednesday?

“These exams are an integral part of your degree and you should be revising immediately. I am your personal tutor, Kevin, not your nanny. And get that microphone out of my face.”

On closer inspection of the course handbooks, it appears that Flipside’s editor in chief, sports book-keeper, and head caterer all have exams on the day of the planned flash mob outside EUSA HQ, in which everyone would have been dressed as Jeremy Corbyn and singing ‘(What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding’. It would have been mint.

However in a series of fortunate events, Flipside’s head barista and deputy plumber, Cara Cannington, reminded us that we hacked into The Tab’s email years ago (Username: Clarksonboobs; Password: meinkampf666) and we can run the articles which The Tab plan to publish.

So in the coming weeks, prepare for more great “satire” including articles such as ‘5 STDs Only Scottish Sluts Can Handle’, ‘Why Edinburgh Anorexics are Better than St Andrews Anorexics’, and ‘I Spent Two Months in a Coma – Best Wank Ever!’

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