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Local

Published on December 1st, 2015 | by Flipside

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Breaking News: Spare Seat Found In Library.

In a shocking turn of events, it has come to the attention of Edinburgh Flipside that there is a spare seat in the main Library.

Our library correspondent had this to say:

“It is just fucking sitting there, nothing wrong with it, just there, unoccupied, fuck me this is weird, I don’t like it one bit.”

However, a few moments later there was an update on the situation, and our correspondent commented:

“It appears that the seat has now been taken. The triumphant holder is a clearly dissertation-deranged fourth year. In order to gain the chair and remain in possession of it, she used her slightly heeled shoe to bludgeon any potential rivals, and physically scalded one man with hot coffee. It would seem that the free space has created a Darwinian scenario, in which only the fittest and most violent survive, but instead of survival they get seats.”

More to follow.

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