Published on December 14th, 2013 | by Flipside0
Breaking News: Student self-immolates in protest against parents’ terrible chat
A fourth-year Politics and Banter student at the University of Edinburgh, Charlie Brand, has set fire to himself upon returning home for Christmas, in protest against the terrible patter his parents were dishing out. Brand, who was 22, was at home in Coventry for Christmas, and had gotten so bored by his parents that not even the prospect of Christmas could sustain him.
Flipside is presently only aware that Brand set himself alight in the kitchen of his parents’ 3-bedroom suburban house, by covering himself in deodorant and cooking fat and striking several matches (failing the first four times). We are sending our reporters to the scene to get more information.
More news will follow as soon as we have it.