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Published on October 30th, 2015 | by Flipside

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Cameron admits to having a period once, says it wasn’t that bad

David Cameron has finally admitted what has only been speculated for years, that he has in fact only ever experienced 1 menstrual cycle. This revelation came after he was subjected to Jeremy Corbyn’s intense (CIA-inspired) interrogation techniques during Prime Minister’s Time. After being asked by Corbyn, for the sixth time, whether he would confirm or deny that he had in fact had a period once, Cameron replied: ‘I don’t see what all the fuss is about. I have had a period and I would say I agree with EU legislation, it was not even that bad. Georgeie came over, we watched the Riot Club (basically a documentary of our lives, very flattering) and ate two tubs of Ben & Jerry’s. That was pretty luxurious of you ask me.”

This news comes after the House of Commons voted against removing the VAT against those-things-that-will-not-be-named (TAMPONS FUCKING TAMPONS, THIS SHOULDN’T BE A BIG DEAL OK, sorry don’t know where that came from,  carry on). The justification for this was because they do in fact fit into the category of a luxury item, the definition of luxury being a state of comfort or elegance. It only makes sense that those-things-that-will-not-be-named are considered ‘non-essential, luxury’ items, because the half of world’s population only needs to use those-things-that-will-not-be-named  (tampons) for a week each month, every month for about 30 years.

Opposition to this decision from infamous Feminazis has itself been opposed by women who do not identity themselves as feminists or by men. Surely if women are asking to get special treatment men should too? It’s not right that people should be allowed to protest just about things that affect the female gender.

“Shouldn’t things that only men use also have a zero rate tax?”  Said one of those Menenist peoples, ” razors… oh wait women use those too, because both genders feel coerced to conform to gender norms. Maybe trousers? Ties? BBQs? Engagement ring? Got it massive dildo’s, wait what do you mean women use those too?”

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