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Published on December 25th, 2015 | by Flipside

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Cameron Fucks Christmas Turkey

According to a statement issued from 10 Downing Street this afternoon, David Cameron has “really fucked the Christmas turkey”.

The statement continued: “Mr Cameron has really messed up the Christmas turkey today. It is burnt and totally inedible. The Prime Minister has no idea what he did wrong, conceding it may have been in the stuffing. After having his fist right up there, it appears it just started to burn.”

Most Tory MPs were unavailable to comment on the matter, except Boris Johnson, who was found sleeping in a bike shelter. The Mayor of London declared that Mr Cameron’s actions were “a poultry matter” before looking very smug with himself, naive to the fact that his pun technically doesn’t work.

UPDATE: As of 18:23, Mr Cameron has conceded that “air strikes weren’t best way to cook a turkey.”

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