Published on January 19th, 2016 | by Flipside0
Cheeseburgers are the new Imperialism
Earlier this week, the North London Burger Club on George Street introduced a burger called the ‘Red Leicester’ on its special of the month menu, prompting complaints over concerns of cultural imperialism. These complaints have now manifested into a protest outside the restaurant despite pleas from staff that the burger was simply named after the type of cheese they use.
Barnabus Willoughby, the the leader of the protest and Treasurer of the University of Edinburgh’s Socialist Society, spoke to Flipside this morning saying “We’ve come here to protest today because me and my friends feel horribly oppressed by this restaurant’s choice of name for their new burger. By choosing the colour red, they’ve actively chosen to make fun of our political views by mockingly comparing the great Soviet state to the pish town of Leicester.
“Also, the name Leicester represents all kind of nasty imperialism. First they got occupied by the Romans, then the Middle Angles, and then the Danish Vikings. We haven’t even mentioned the Normans yet. To cap it all off they buried a former King at the cathedral last year which demonstrates that they still haven’t moved on from their rigid dogma of the Imperialist Divine Right of Kings”.
When asked what the Vikings had to do with Imperialism and burgers, the protesters became angry before shouting “They were Danish Vikings you racist pig. How dare you standardise Scandinavia as one homogeneous bloc”. Following their attempts to chuck blocks of concrete and cheddar at our reporter, Flipside promptly buggered off.
When asked for a comment on the issue, EUSA President Jonny Rose-McGowan said: “Seriously guys, we’re trying to solve world hunger here, can you write one story without making fun of my name?”.