Published on January 12th, 2018 | by Flipside0
Confession: Kylie Jenner RUINED my Christmas
If the gossip of the Kardashians family dramas has been blessedly distracting you from relentless mild stress of trying to get your five a day and sleep more than 6 hours at night, you’re not the only one. I for one, thanks to the images and knowledge that I have absorbed seemingly by atmospheric knowledges osmosis, have been frantically following Americas first family’s procreation. Kylie Jenner, the one that wants to be Kim Kardashian the most and looks like a hot step-mum, has been rumored pregnant for months and is selfishly choosing to not show her pregnant body to the world, nor her potential child. Kylie has continued to be self-absorbed in not realizing that the public own her, or at least own her child, after all, is it not the mass public who are going to make the off-spring as outlandishly wealthy as the mother?
Having been teased for weeks by the Kylie less Kardashian Khristmans Kadvent Kalander, on the last day, as the world waited for confirmation that Kylie has a working womb, we were instead disrespected by simply another minimalist picture of the whole family, sans Kylie, trapped inside an egg. This disappointment has caused international seasonal sulking, that we can now only admit to.
The only reasonable reason for privacy during this intense personal time is that Kylie actually got knocked up by a ‘Twilight’ vampire and it had to eat her out from the inside, and she’s still recovering and learning to control her new powers.
Cara, a concern citizen said ‘I would just accept a pic of her swollen pregnant lady foot! I need to know about the state of her uterus!’