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Science & Tech

Published on October 22nd, 2013 | by Flipside

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Cost of wind rises by £200 a month

Environmentally responsible energy consumers across the UK are shocked at the news that alongside gas price hikes, the cost of wind in Britain is set to rise sharply over the coming weeks from the current monthly rate of £0 to £200 per wind turbine.

A spokesperson from those implementing the charge, the Association of Renewably Supplied Energy (ARSE), recently spoke to Flipside. “Due to an unexpected rise in sanctimoniousness, more and more people are installing wind turbines on their property in an effort to reduce their carbon footprint by, in some cases, up to a few percent.”

“The cost increase stems from our need to cater to this growing wind demand. We have no choice but to import more wind from the Arab states, also known as ‘hot air’.”

However many consumers are not sympathetic to the justification presented by ARSE. 24-year-old investment banker retiree Prudence said she was “disgusted and offended” by the cost increase.

“I installed 10 windmills in order to power my smoothie-blender, and with the running cost rising to thousands of pounds a month, I may have to reconsider whether it’s even worth it at all,” she added.

Following a recent series of unsuccessful social media PR attempts, British Gas responded to the news with the tweet “LOL, U Mad? #fossilfuelsFTW”. Reportedly nobody has favourited the tweet thus far.

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