SK8R LIFE INSURANCE (SK8) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ASSOCIATION (EUSA) ▼-2005.21
ALEX SALMOND’S HAIR ▼ 230.067
CONSERVATIVE & UNIONIST NATIONAL TWEED CO (CUNT) ▲69.99
LADS, INC (LAD)▲1783.44
NATIONAL ASSOCIATION ZOCIALIST, INC (NAZI)▼2.48
BEDLAM THEATRE GROUP (BT) ▲ 5.74
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY CREDIBILITY (UC) ▼ 1.000567
PETER HIGG’S SWAG ($G) ▲∞
BOTECO (BOT) ▲ 456.34
AVERAGE AGE IN TEVIOT (OLD) ▲ 67.45
PANDA CHILDCARE UK PLC (PCU) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
MILEY CYRUS EDINBURGH FAN CLUB (TWERK)▲ 42.67
DIRECTION OF NOSES UPON MENTION OF EDINBURGH NAPIER (NOZ) ▲ 90.00
EXAM PERFORMANCE IN MCEWAN HALL (STARE) ▼ 11.000567
TEVIOT CHIPS (SHIT)▼ 56.23

Commentary

Published on December 7th, 2016 | by Flipside

0

Radical Communist Flatmate Still Hasn’t Done His Goddamn Dishes

MARCHMONT – Despite the dusty copy of Das Kapital and those stupid picket signs blocking the hall, Jessie, the communist revolutionary flatmate still hasn’t done his fucking dishes. Jessie moved in after a semester living in the co-op, leaving because ‘they don’t understand the movement’ and was a colourful addition to the living space for one week. Months later his quinoa encrusted pan smells awful and he still hasn’t credited your account for the utilities bill.  

Despite preaching the ‘the revolution is coming brother’ and hosting all of the Marxist society socials in your living room, Jessie has done little to for the common good… of the kitchen.

When pressed for comment Jessie responded, ‘I’m sorry, I’ve been very stressed since the US election and the coming revolution needs a bunch of organizers.’ After reminding him that he didn’t vote and that his parents are affluent day traders Jessie retreated to his room to sulk, smoke Cassie’s weed, and watch Rick and Morty.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditEmail this to someone

Tags: , , , , , , , ,


About the Author



Comments are closed.

Back to Top ↑