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News

Published on January 27th, 2018 | by Flipside

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Dangerous new strain of ‘Aussie Twats’ hits UK

The government has put out a general warning to parts of the UK about a new and highly infectious danger.

‘Aussie Twats’ have plagued our society ever since their country was first born in 1901, coming over here and being overly positive, chipper, good looking and sporty – thereby refusing to accept British culture.

However, this dangerous new strain are even worse, as they come over here bragging about success in the Ashes, how Manaus is as bad as any of Britain’s atrocities, and pretending that sports like cycling and tennis (outside Wimbledon) are interesting. These twats can stick around for even longer than normal Aussie twats, chewing your ear off about something to do with barbecues, surfing or ‘the sun,’ and trying to be ‘nice’ when you barely even know them.

British citizens have been warned to avoid certain areas of South West London in order to avoid these Aussie Twats, while any ‘Walkabout’ location across the country is strictly out of bounds.

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