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Politics

Published on August 29th, 2013 | by Flipside

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David Cameron considering abandoning military intervention due to student protest

LONDON — David Cameron announced this afternoon that he is considering abandoning his commitment to military intervention in Syria because 12 students at Edinburgh University held a sit-in protest. Cameron was in mixed-moods, owing to his change of heart, but was upbeat about the experience.

“I wasn’t aware that 12 people even paid attention to what I was doing. It was a very enlightening experience. Though the students had totally infantile arguments which largely consisted of John Lennon lyrics, I feel obliged to consider them just because they’re there. They’re a bit like UKIP in that respect.”

Edinburgh University Students Association (EUSA) was the happiest it had ever been. EUSA official Ewan McUseless said this the most important EUSA had been since a prospective fresher posted on their Facebook wall 5 years ago.

Lord Chelmsford, member of the Marxist Peace Front, who led the protest, had nothing but positive things to say about it and its success:

“I think the turnout was amazing. We held the protest in my flat in Marchmont and two people had to sit in the hallway. My kitchen was so small. You see my parents only agreed to buy me a modest flat.”

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