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Politics

Published on July 13th, 2016 | by Flipside

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David Cameron’s Mum regrets early night fifty years ago.

The mother of failed, outgoing, Prime Minister David Cameron has spoken of her regret at not having thought through the consequences of a night of passion properly fifty years ago. Speaking to the Flipside Mary Cameron said,

‘I remember it well. Corrie was on but it was a shite episode Ena Sharples was being a cow. Anyway Ian looks over with that cheeky smile, he was a silver-tongued charmer, and says, ’how about it then eh?’ and I was like, ‘aye why no.’ He had a belter of a boaby on him you see.’

Mary explains how she didn’t give the night a second thought until sometime later,

‘It must have been about a month later, I was spewing buckets. Initially I put it down to the chicken I’d had the night before, I’d bought it off some bloke in the pub and left it in the car boot for a couple of days and it had tasted a bit ropey, or maybe the eight pints or export I’d had in The Gauntlet the night before. But then when I didn’t get my painters the penny dropped.’

‘Eight months later the wee prick popped out. He was alright as a child, bit snooty, and he used to call me ‘Mama’, still does, which I just think is fuckin’ weird. Anyway he turned into a right little arsehole. I’d like to punch him in his smug face.’

Mary finished, ‘I hate him.’

 

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