Published on December 19th, 2015 | by Flipside0
David Moyes Appointed Chelsea Manger: Fans Now Dare To Dream Of Mid Table Finish.
Breaking News: Recent reports have claimed that Gus Hiddink has taken over the Chelsea managerial role. However, these reports have come from sources like the BBC and we can’t be trusting them! Am I right YES voters?! Flipside can exclusively reveal that it is David Moyes.
In a statement issued by Chelsea FC’s Press Office this was confirmed.
“He wasn’t our first choice, Brendan Rodgers was. But, he is here now, so lets make the best of it. David has proven pedigree in not getting teams relegated. He even finished fourth with Everton that one time. This man may have just lost his job in Spain, but he didn’t get relegated there either and we are really keen to not be relegated. With David at the helm we are quite confident that he can steer us toward the mid table finish of which we could only dream before.”
Moyes, a man famous for looking more down than the sad emoji, is looking forward to the challenge.
“Look”, he said, “I know things didn’t go well with my last two teams, but they were playing in colours that weren’t blue, I did really well at Everton and they played in blue. Chelsea play in blue so I am hoping my blue record can continue on strongly. If all goes well we might finish inside the top ten, but I don’t want to get people’s hopes up, so I won’t say anything positive for several months. I am most certainly going to do this job. It will be a job which I will do, and when I am no longer doing it, it will be a job which I have done.”
Inspiring stuff as always from David there.