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Published on April 10th, 2016 | by Flipside

0

Despite “University Turd Polishing Initiative”, Appleton Tower Still Looks Pretty Shit

For months now Appleton tower has been shrouded by scaffolding, mystery and construction noise. However in recent weeks the scaffolding has begun to recede, revealing what all the hours of work and millions of pounds have been spent on. A slightly less ugly version of what was there before, but still something which would actually look better as a pile of rubble.

The attempts to make Appleton look nicer have been part of the “University Turd Polishing Initiative” (UTPI), which has seen a campus wide effort to make shit things look nice.

A spokesperson Mr De. Lusional commented, “The progress made on AT by UTIP has been gr8” (he actually said that). “I really hope we can keep this up. Such a strong start has given us hope to make so many other shit things look nice. Next we will do the Hugh Rob Bunker, maybe after that the Teviot Toilets, and finally thinking off campus with some spit and elbow grease we could make the Nidry street bins look a bit nicer.

Flipside report that this rather ironic episode has proven that you really cannot polish a turd, even if you waste millions of pounds in trying.

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