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Commentary

Published on June 7th, 2016 | by Flipside

0

‘Did You Keep the Receipt?’ Ask Democrats Over Presidential Nominee

Democrats and progressives across America have feigned joy at the announcement Hillary Clinton will be running against Donald Trump in November’s Presidential Election. In scenes reminiscent of many a disappointing family Christmas, Democrats up and down the Land of the Free have plastered on fake smiles as if they had just opened a present, and their Grandma asked:

’This is the one you wanted isn’t it? At the shop they said this was the one you’d want.’

Progressive voter Martin Dylan said, ‘I wanted Sanders, it was always Sanders. Canada got Trudeau, with his strong physique, puppy dog eyes and hair that I could run my fingers through all day…………Oh and he’s a liberal, doesn’t jump straight to bombing the Middle East and isn’t in the pockets of Wall Street! Even the Labour Party has Corbyn these days, fuckin’ Labour! Now all the other progressives are going to stare at us in the playground as we support the lesser of two evils.’

Meanwhile, Democratic mothers across the country have advised their disappointed offspring just act pleased so as to not hurt Clinton’s feelings, adding they’ll see if they can exchange Sanders for President 2016 for a Sanders Vice President, or Secretary of State.

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