Published on February 12th, 2016 | by Flipside0
Divestment protest occupies house owned by two men called Charles and Stewart: Not Charles Stewart House.
Breaking News: For a second time, students are protesting the University of Edinburgh to divest funds away from fossil fuels. However, in one of the classic blunders of our times, the students involved in the occupation, despite their noble and fair intentions, have recently realised they are occupying the wrong building.
They were supposed to be occupying Charles Stewart House to help raise awareness for their cause and prevent any investment in fossil fuels. However, they have simply occupied a building owned (and lived in) by two men in their mid 60’s called Charles and Stewart. According to anonymous sources, they don’t appear to mind the students, but have requested that they shower if they are going to remain any longer, and maybe take the dog, Daisy, for a walk.
Divestment Occupy member Jack Spoiler has offered us a comment: “It’s been a mad one. Taking over a lovely elderly couple’s house and just not moving…it’s not on is it? We went into it with the best of intentions, but it hasn’t gone to plan. We did think that Charles and Stewart did seem far too lovely to be ploughing vast amounts of money into unethical investments, and it turns out they were. It all became clear after they applauded my poem about how fossil fuels are bad. Despite us, they’e been lovely and we are soon to strike camp and move to the proper location. The struggle is real. Viva la Divestment, for the people. Do you think they will let us keep Daisy? She is lovely”.