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Sports

Published on November 23rd, 2016 | by Flipside

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Man who skips leg day just floating torso

Daz Bennington, fourth year Sports’ Science student at Edinburgh University, was panicked and stunned to wake up one morning and find his legs were missing. “I dunno wha’ happened. I just woke up and they were gone! Me mates told me not to skip leg day, but I did, now they’re gone and I’ll never pull again!”

After further inquiry, it turned out that Daz had been skipping leg day at the gym for quite some time now. After a short interview, he revealed that his last leg session was in March, with his mates Ken and Baz.Daz’s situation was made worse by the fact that he scoffed down protein shakes by the dozen a day, aiming for “mad gainz” on his upper body. He did no cardio whatsoever, because “that shizz is fo’ birds”.

Daz is now undergoing treatment at the Royal Infirmary and has made a solemn vow to take up Crossfit and run 3 full marathons every year if his legs are restored.

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