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Published on October 21st, 2015 | by Flipside

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Doc Brown Declines University of Edinburgh Honorary Doctorate

University of Edinburgh staff were shocked today as Dr. Emmet Brown declined their offer of an honorary doctorate in temporal studies on a routine visit from the year 1985.

When pushed for comment by the press, the elusive American inventor replied, “GREAT SCOTT! IT’S ALL WRONG! WE NEED TO GO BACK, MARTY!”

After the press realised that Dr. Brown was making even less sense than The Tab justifying an article on how to shoot grouse, they turned to his lab assistant and toyboy, Marty McFly.

“The future is pretty heavy,” said McFly, wearing a scrunchie, crocs and a turtleneck blazer with elbow patches in order to blend in.

“Me and the Doc heard about how heavy it was from the news. You can’t hoverboard in Bristo Square, there’s a festival in August dedicated to lame haircuts, and they only play great music on Saturdays at Potterrow.”

Rather than leaving immediately, McFly has stated that they are waiting until this evening in order to get back to 1985.

“Apparently tonight is when a bolt of lightning will hit McEwan Hall, so the Doc has spent two years covering the place in otherwise useless scaffolding so we can use the power to get back.”

 

UPDATE: McFly was last seen crying into a pint of San Miguel in the Library Bar, holding a iPhone and screaming “No, God! It can’t be true!” Unconfirmed reports state that the Google search history on the iPhone included “Star Wars”, “Donald Trump”, “Michael Jackson”, “The Simpsons”, “Mel Gibson”, and “Michael J. Fox”.

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