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Politics

Published on November 23rd, 2015 | by Flipside

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Donald Trump advises David Cameron on his problem with women

Infamously at primary school David Cameron remarked to Polly, his classmate at the tender age of 5, that she and all girls had ‘the attention span of gnats’. Ever since then Cameron has been honest about his inability to understand the ‘other’ gender.

Flipside can reveal that this week Donald Trump, chairman and president of The Trump Organisation, founder of Trump Entertainment Resorts, TV personality, Chairman of Trump Atlantic City Associates, Founder of Trump Hair Transplants, billionaire, America’s Alan Sugar and joke candidate in the US 2016 presidential election has offered David Cameron some words of wisdom.

David Cameron has always wanted to go on after politics to start up his own beauty pageant (Miss Witney) so advice from one of his heroes was gratefully received, Flipside has been told.

Trump is reported to have said, ‘Cameron, my dear friend, you must stop categorising people into men, Oxford mates, Eton mates, swine and putting women at the bottom of the pecking order. Be more subtle in your patriarchal subjugation of the other lesser gender. Remarks like ‘calm down dear’ in the House of Commons will only make angry women angrier’.

This exchange of geniuses comes to light following knowledge that Boris Johnson remarked on the subject of same sex marriage: ‘If gay marriage was OK … then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men; or indeed Sam Cam, David Cam and a pig.’

Here are some of Flipside’s favourite things that Donald Trump has actually said about women:

  1. In his 2006 book Trump 101: The Way to Success, Trump wrote: “Beauty and elegance, whether in a woman, a building, or a work of art, is not just superficial or something pretty to see.”
  2. “You know, it doesn’t really matter what [the media] write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.” (Interview with Esquire, 1991)
  3. “All of the women on ‘The Apprentice’ flirted with me — consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.” — How To Get Rich, 2004

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