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Published on August 16th, 2017 | by Flipside

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Donald Trump Sleeps On it; Decides to Condemn White Supremacists

 

After having a restful night’s sleep followed by a long bath, leisurely breakfast and quick round of golf, President Donald Trump decided it was probably about time he condemned white supremacists for committing terrorism over 48 hours ago.

A spate of people, commentators and political figures from across the spectrum instantly condemned the violent actions of the far-right ‘Unite the Right’ rally, that led to the death of an innocent protestor in Charlottesville, Virginia, and the injury of 19 others. Trump, however, found himself tied up for over two days, busy with writing tweets and speeches that didn’t outright condemn the white supremacists marching in his name, rather than immediately saying it was bad that holy shit they are literally fucking Nazis and someone died. 

The President said: “After the event, I was very very hungry, and I didn’t know what was happening. But after many cookies, and also naps, I can see now that these Nazis – they’re bad people. Very very bad people, the worst people, Nazis. I knew a Nazi once – awful, awful, very low-quality person. So it’s bad that, Charlottesville…it’s bad, very bad what happened.”

“But the economy right now – Wow!” Trump concluded.

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