Published on December 6th, 2013 | by Flipside0
Edinburgh ‘forgot’ to give Nelson Mandela an Honorary Degree
University of Edinburgh administrators and academics are collectively slapping themselves in the head after it emerged that they ‘forgot’ to give Nelson Mandela an honorary degree; it now being too late to do so.
The University of Edinburgh has given out honorary degrees to a wide range of individuals, including Judy Murray, earlier this year, often in an attempt to create some sort of link between themselves and somebody famous who never actually attended the university.
“It was on our to-do list. I swear. It’s somewhere between ‘provide value for money’ and ‘purge the Student Union of morons,’” said one flustered University manager. “Look I mean, I thought we had loads of time. He’s only been on telly for like 20 years.”
Another University manager had treated the goal of awarding Mandela the degree as some sort of performance target. “I thought it was like ‘offer a world class education’, like we’d talk about it, but never actually do it.”
One University worker, a former graduate of Edinburgh in History, said, “It was entirely my fault. I handed in the hard copy, but forgot about the online submission.”
Hugh Murdoch, President of Edinburgh University Student’s Association, said, “Yeah, it’s a bit of an own goal really, isn’t it? I mean, normally when you go to give out stuff like that Mandela is top of the list. A bit like Messi in the world XI.” Murdoch then turned to his ‘image consultant’ and asked if he could stop making football analogies now. “Though EUSA can’t really talk, we keep forgetting to go all out and properly call Potterrow the Nelson Mandela Centre. I suppose I better do that, and shelve those plans to rename the Hugh Rob after myself.”