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Published on August 27th, 2013 | by Flipside

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Edinburgh student to marry Big Cheese

BRISTO SQUARE – A fourth year student at Edinburgh University this Thursday announced his desire to marry the Big Cheese club night at Potterrow.

When questioned about his passion for the much-loved Edinburgh student night, fourth year Benjamin Carroll stated, “I’ve spent every Saturday night for the last three years in the company of the Big Cheese. We’ve had some of the best times of my life together.”

“I didn’t think I needed a piece of paper to prove how much I loved the Big Cheese,” Carroll commented, “but it just feels like the right thing to do. This is the next logical step.”

Unfortunately, under current UK legislation marriage to inanimate concepts remains impossible, but the student is hopeful that marriage equality will soon extend its boundaries. “Club nights are just getting more and more popular. Most relationships with them are restricted to STD-ridden one night stands, but I’ve seen first hand how a heart can be stolen by sticky floors and cheesy pop, and I hope that one day this love can be celebrated.”

Carroll explained that he would honour his union with the Big Cheese in Freshers’ Week this year, by strawpedoe-ing nine VKs and getting trashed to the Vengaboys.

 

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