SK8R LIFE INSURANCE (SK8) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ASSOCIATION (EUSA) ▼-2005.21
ALEX SALMOND’S HAIR ▼ 230.067
CONSERVATIVE & UNIONIST NATIONAL TWEED CO (CUNT) ▲69.99
LADS, INC (LAD)▲1783.44
NATIONAL ASSOCIATION ZOCIALIST, INC (NAZI)▼2.48
BEDLAM THEATRE GROUP (BT) ▲ 5.74
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY CREDIBILITY (UC) ▼ 1.000567
PETER HIGG’S SWAG ($G) ▲∞
BOTECO (BOT) ▲ 456.34
AVERAGE AGE IN TEVIOT (OLD) ▲ 67.45
PANDA CHILDCARE UK PLC (PCU) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
MILEY CYRUS EDINBURGH FAN CLUB (TWERK)▲ 42.67
DIRECTION OF NOSES UPON MENTION OF EDINBURGH NAPIER (NOZ) ▲ 90.00
EXAM PERFORMANCE IN MCEWAN HALL (STARE) ▼ 11.000567
TEVIOT CHIPS (SHIT)▼ 56.23

Entertainment

Published on November 2nd, 2013 | by Flipside

0

Research concludes Edinburgh students cooler than St Andrews students

Results of a recent survey conducted by a French education consulting firm and a German market research firm have led researchers to conclude that students attending the prestigious University of Edinburgh are categorically “way cooler” than the students found at the University of St. Andrews.

Receiving responses from over 2,700 recruiters and senior executives across 20 countries, the findings for the Global Employability Survey this year demonstrate an overwhelming international preference by employers for students from the University of Edinburgh.

In this age of the internet and social media, image is everything,” says a researcher for Trendence, the French consulting firm behind this project. “For a company to succeed, their image has to be one of success. And for most, if not all, companies surveyed, Edinburgh University students are better exemplifiers of this image than the students at St. Andrews.”

Citing factors such as the ability to hold an unpretentious conversation and a substantive knowledge of Breaking Bad trivia, employers across the globe have been found to favour the company of students 5-to-1 from the University of Edinburgh compared to the students attending the University of St. Andrews.

It’s quite simple really,” says one senior executive interviewed for the survey. “A cooler workforce means a more efficient workforce. A more efficient workforce means a higher and superior work output. And from personal experience, the students from St. Andrews just tend to disagree with me about my character preferences in Game Of Thrones. Thus, Edinburgh University students are cooler.”

While local university rankings place the University of St. Andrews at a higher spot than the University of Edinburgh, researchers stress that the crest on the diploma should not be the only factor for talent scouts.

We firmly believe that both universities are formidable academic institutions in their own rights,” says a researcher for German research firm, Emerging. “But from a multitude of factors, it is both undeniable and indisputable that students from Edinburgh University are just plain friggin’ cooler than those nerds studying at that village in Fife. I mean, c’mon.”

 

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditEmail this to someone

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,


About the Author



Comments are closed.

Back to Top ↑