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Entertainment

Published on March 26th, 2014 | by Flipside

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Edinburgh students responsible for Malaysian airlines mystery

The Malaysian government has accused University of Edinburgh Law students of being responsible for the Malaysian Airlines flight MH370 disaster.

Last year, in a controversial move, a splinter group of the University’s Law Society became Somali pirates. The Malaysian government believes that these students, now operating in the Indian Ocean, may be behind the mystery.

Asked what the main suspects looked like, Malaysia’s civil aviation chief Azharuddin Abdul Rahman said, “Do you know Balotelli? They look like Balotelli.”

It is understood that the investigation is now focusing on the Law students, pictured, although their motives remain unclear. When Flipside asked the smokers outside the University Library for their thoughts, there was a consensus that this was possibly “mad chat, gone horribly wrong”.

Extremist behaviour by students at the University has become increasingly common. It is estimated that thousands were killed instantly or mentally scarred by the shocking, graphic nature of Jacob Webber’s campaign videos during the most recent Edinburgh University Students’ Association Presidential elections.

During a Facetime interview, one of the Edinburgh pirates studying at Mogadishu University said, “I really thought this ‘year abroad’ lark would be like a second gap year, a time to relive my youth. Turns out things are more serious. I mean, all this plane business has really impacted on my ability to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix. Mobile data coverage across the Indian Ocean is a weak show. At least I have done most of the practical for my dissertation on international aviation and maritime law.”

Asked for his thoughts, University Rector Peter McColl said, “What? My role is basically nominal. I will not answer your questions. Go away student journalist scum.”

 

 

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