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Published on January 27th, 2018 | by Flipside

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Edinburgh University Students’ Association Decides To Publicly Shame and Fleece Twats

Edinburgh University Students’ Association have announced a campaign to shame those that darken their door on a Saturday, and also charge them for the privilege.

This week saw the launch of clothing with the Big Cheese logo, commenting on this an Association spokesperson said: We were also looking for a way to punish twats who annoy us regularly with their presence. We looked into it, and it turned out we weren’t allowed to actually brand them ala Cain-style, so we decided to combine it with our raison d’etre at the university, making money.

We are constantly looking for new ways to rinse students for every penny they have. Fortunately for us, despite going to one of the country’s leading universities, many of them are quite gullible and have more money than sense.

Twats are also always easy to spot here, wearing a sports tie is a good indicator, or one of those flowery dinner jackets that resemble the curtains your nan used to own. Or just anyone who wears a tuxedo. They think they look like James Bond, when in fact they look like Barron Trump. Barron Trump, by the way, like many of our patrons, you can tell is also a little shit.

That’s when we hit upon the idea of selling them garish clothing with our flagship events’ logo. When the tribal mentality hits, and the blind very much lead the blind, or in this case tacky lead the tacky, we are going to rake it in.’

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