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Sports

Published on September 29th, 2013 | by Flipside

0

Entire British Army to be deployed to Glasgow Games

Competitors and organisers alike are relieved to learn that all of roughly 130,000 servicemen and women from the British Army have stepped up to provide security for the 2014 Glasgow Commonwealth Games.

Following the G4S fiasco of the London summer Olympics, it appears no risks are being taken in Glasgow, Europe’s most violent city. An MoD spokesperson claimed “The residents of the city pose a far greater threat to competitors and visitors than international terrorists could in London, hence the seriousness of our measures.”

Glasgow 2014 organiser Sebastian McCoe assured nervous athletes that the security put in place would, “thwart the aggression of Glaswegians fuelled by any amount of Buckfast” (the official beverage of the 2014 games).

However despite stiff measures, some remain unconvinced. London Mayor Boris Johnson, who is reportedly not at all bitter about Glasgow’s turn in the public eye, was caught exclaiming, “The choice of host city is utterly outrageous. I won’t be going. I’d probably feel safer watching the games in Damascus”.

Troops are expected to begin being deployed in January, with most personnel to be sent to a new state-of-the-art military base said to be built in Kelvingrove Park.

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