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Politics

Published on February 22nd, 2016 | by Flipside

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EU Poll says UK will vote to leave Tory party

A recent poll has shown that the UK unanimously agrees that it would be ‘better off’ without the Tory Party. The UK decided without a doubt that for reasons of national security, the union would be fairer and freer with Toryexit or Texit.

 The Vote Leave campaign declared it was a victory for anyone who has ever felt personally victimised by David Cameron. Nicola Sturgeon gleefully spoke of the decision: ‘It is finally something England and Scotland can agree on, that it is time to take back control of our bodies, our minds and our lives. No longer will the Tory party wreck havoc on the Great Britain we know and love.’

 This poll comes after Tory MPs decided to join the Leave campaign, with Cameron left to half-heartedly campaign against Brexit alone. A Westminster insider said ‘David is heartbroken. He’s gotten through 3 multipacks of Walkers crisps today already and it’s only 9AM. He had thought that bringing all his chums into office with him would mean, not only having someone to sit with at lunch, but that they’d never disagree with him.’

 

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