Published on October 23rd, 2015 | by Flipside0
EUSA Ban All The Halloween Costumes Ever For Being “Offensive To Someone Or Something”.
Following a student council meeting attended by ten people and seven goats, EUSA have issued the following statement.
“This year, we will ban all the Halloween costumes, cats, sexy cats, intellectual cats, scientific cats, zombie cats, living cats and grumpy cats, are just some of the costumes which cannot be worn at this year’s Halloween party, or around EUSA venues. For in some way or another anything can offend anyone, thus if we ban everything, no one can be offended, it is rather simple really. We here at EUSA love a bit of fun as much as the next Mormon, but when it comes to people getting offended, we just won’t let it happen.”
Flipside spoke to President Jonny Ross-Tatam, who added, “Look, things are going pretty well this year, so we don’t want to spoil it by not stopping some prick dressing up as a member of the KKK and claim they are a ghost or something. Am I the only one who remembers the Somali Pirates chaos? We won’t have anything so silly happen to us, so we are just banning everything, nice and sensible”
When asked about allegations that he had actually banned costumes because his was a bit shit this year Ross-Tatam calmly and maturely ran away.