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Politics

Published on April 12th, 2018 | by Flipside

0

EUSA Call Emergency Meeting To Discuss Syria

Breaking News: In the early hours of the morning one of the EUSA people (we can’t keep track, might have been someone called Sarah or maybe Gregg?), announced that an emergency meeting to discuss events in Syria had been called.

A spokesperson commented:

“The meeting has been called to address the very important issues occurring in Syria right now. And as a very important political institution we know that we must take a break from our other very important work and figure this out.”

She continued,

“The U.S, U.K and France all look like they are going to go the way of air strikes. And we wanted to work out what EUSA can do? Maybe a banner? Candle lit vigil? Or even a bake sale to just get the ball rolling. One of our members has suggested we also vote in favour of bombing just to fuck with people, but in a rare moment of unity and sanity (not actually that rare over the last few years we hear at Flipside have to concede) the SAAB team have all agreed bombing is generally fucking awful and really shouldn’t be done and even you can’t argue with that.”

(We cannot, bombing is generally terrible. This is not satire. Can we please not start WW3… Pls?).

The spokesperson finished by saying,

“Due to our huge mandate and support, whatever we, EUSA, decide here today in this meeting will surely be listened to by leaders all over the world.”

(We did laugh at this and don’t deny that you didn’t).

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