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Entertainment

Published on January 22nd, 2015 | by Flipside

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EUSA single-handedly brings down Page 3

For the first time in its 130 year history, Edinburgh University Student Union has enacted a successful campaign, forcing The Sun to bring to an end the publication of its controversial Page 3.

Flipside spoke to a source claiming to be from The Sun; a man with a large trenchcoat, fuzzy beard, and a barely legible semi-German accent, who identified himself as Brian Gepado:

“Yar, I vaz dere at The Sun offices,” said Gepado, “and dey vere like, ‘Vunderbar! Deze EUSA guys have a veally gud point, especially dat very cleever president WHO’S AUTHORITY SHOULD NAT BE QUESTIONED. Ve should close it down.’ So dey deed. And now it eez closed.”

EUSA has run many campaigns to try to ban certain raunchy media forms in the public eye, such as the song ‘Blurred Lines’ by Robin Thicke, whose affair with Max Crema was censored from an article in The Student.

“I vemember daat,” recalled Gepado as he fiddled behind his ear whilst his beard bounced. “Vobin Thicke vas like ‘How could I haave offended dese EUSA people WHO’S AUTHORITY SHOULD NAT BE QUESTIONED? I should be ashamed.’ And so he vas.”

Although an official source from EUSA has yet to comment on the removal of Page 3 from national shelves, it seems that EUSA venues have prepared for a student backlash by stocking increased numbers of magazines such as Heat and Cosmopolitan, which inform women how to look like Page 3 models for the benefit of men anyway.

 

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