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Politics

Published on April 2nd, 2016 | by Flipside

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League of Evil welcome Student Left into its ranks

Following the actions of the Student Left at Thursday night’s student council meeting, the League of Evil has officially endorsed the Edinburgh Student Left’s application to join as an affiliated member.

League of Evil spokesperson Archduke Adolf Wellbeing spoke to Flipside in order to explain the situation. “While traditionally the League of Evil only accepts membership to those who have committed the most appalling of atrocities, judging from how much they are despised by regular students, as well as their particular targeting of Jews, I am proud to say that the Edinburgh Student Left have earned their position”.

A representative for the Edinburgh Student Left said “As ever, we are magnanimous and humble in victory, so in an attempt to broker friendships we’re handing out participation badges to our opponents. They’re yellow and in the shape of a Star of David. We’re trying to make everyone who isn’t us to wear one. I think one of our blokes called Hans came up with the idea.”

Others within the Student Left were slightly drunk from the League of Evil’s complimentary wine, and were more willing to give honest opinions about the latest student council: “Thank God we can finally be rid of those fucking kikes! Sorry, I meant Zios. It’s so hard to keep up with the Yid lingo these days. Anyway, the less comfortable Jews feel in Edinburgh, the better, is all we’re trying to say”.

EUSA attempted to comment about the incident but was immediately reported by the Student Left for an alleged safe space violation involving graphical leg movements and was thus gagged from speaking.

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