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Sports

Published on September 27th, 2013 | by Flipside

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Exclusive: LADs plan revolution to secure BT Sport in Teviot

POTTERROW – Flipside can exclusively report that the University of Edinburgh’s disparate, underground Lad factions have signed a provisional ceasefire in order to work together and use a violent, armed revolution to make sure that all EUSA venues have BT sport from now on.

Jonny Casket, of Edinburgh University AFC, and the Lad’s Revolutionary Army, a splinter group from Lad’s Army, was identified as one of the ring-leaders in the planned attack. “It is disgusting that in 2013 I can be in my student union at 12:30 on a Saturday, and Swansea are playing Southampton at home in a probable nil-nil draw, and I can’t watch the fucker. It’s bullshit. We’re not happy.”

Rachel Saunders, who is both President of the Women’s Lad League, and Chairperson-General of the Lad’s Revolutionary Army said that a long negotiation protest had taken place to get this going. “We have a 400-person meeting, with delegates from all the Lads. All the Lads. The Lad Liberation Army caused some ruckus at first, so we used our contacts in the LGBT Lad-beration Front to help smooth things over. The Dons at first refused to get on with the Lad-berdeen Bhoys, but the Rugby Lads, who are the most angry about all this, would have kicked off big style.”

Lad Culture was officially prohibited at Edinburgh University earlier this year and since then all Lad activity has been pushed underground, with armed groups fighting for power in order to distribute football odds, lads mags and other contraband.

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