Published on February 26th, 2014 | by Flipside0
Ferguson admits appointing Moyes was a practical joke gone wrong
In an unsurprising interview with Sir Alex Ferguson, Flipside have learned that the appointment of David Moyes as manager at Manchester United was supposed to be a practical joke on José Mourinho.
“I am not even sorry,” said the normally dour Scotsman while giggling. “Naturally we had José lined up for the job. It was hilarious; lead him on all this way and then hire Moyes instead. But then two things went wrong: firstly, I didn’t want José to find out it was a joke until he had been properly upset, so I didn’t tell David I was joking, and secondly José then went and signed for Chelsea.”
“Not telling David was the real mistake, he got so excited, started crying, phoned his mum; he even offered to give me sexual favours he was so bloody happy. To have taken the job away from him would have been like taking Rooney’s action men away, just cruel, plus José was gone by this point. Look I would have never expected José to go back to Chelsea, not after Abramovich had his first born son killed for José’s failures in the Champions league. What do I think of Moyes as a manager at United? Well, he is a tit, but he makes me look fucking brilliant so I’m not complaining.”
When asked what his plans for the future were he replied, “I’m going to become a Sith Lord and destroy the free world.”
Flipside think he was being ironic, but we can’t really tell: Fergie does look pretty shifty.