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Published on January 7th, 2018 | by Flipside

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Five Things That Aren’t Biscuits Rated As Biscuits

1. A Hat: 2/10

A hat isn’t really a biscuit, it is neither crumbly nor delicious, doesn’t really matter what kind of hat you think of, top hat, flat cap, baseball cap, berry, (I don’t really know many types of hat). Yes you could say a hat made of biscuits would be quite a good biscuit, but that is cheating so fuck you.

2. Alpacas: 5/10

They are edible so this makes them not a bad biscuit. But due to the fluffy outside and meaty inside they don’t really taste like a biscuit.

3. Lord of the Rings: 4/10

As delicious as this outstanding fantasy epic may be, it sadly just simply is not a biscuit.

4. A cup of tea: 1/10

For dunking biscuits in you silly, not actually a biscuit.
5. Boris Johnson: 8/10

He is without doubt the closest thing that isn’t a biscuit to being a biscuit. Think about it, he is such a biscuit. Dunkable, crumbly, would probably make an excellent base for a cheesecake and sweet on the outside despite being bad for you. Yep its official Boris is basically a biscuit.

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