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Commentary

Published on November 6th, 2015 | by Flipside

0

Flatmate Who Studies Computing Knows Fuck All About How To Fix Your Laptop

Thought you were pretty smart blagging a flatmate who knows about computers, huh? Put up with his nerdy friends and antisocial sleeping habits because you know it’ll come in handy, right? Think that spangled jargon of code that’s open on his screen every time you walk by means he knows computer shit?

How horribly wrong you were.

Today of all days, when it’s one in the morning and that essay is due in tomorrow and you’ve had five coffees and half a protein bar and are visibly shaking, and your beautiful shiny Macbook that you spent half your student loans on in first year decides to pack it in for the night. The swirly colour wheel of death has its say before the screen goes black, and your cursor races uselessly across an empty screen.

You bellow fearfully for your flatmate, in full knowledge that you never once backed up your work because like, who even does that?

His silhouette in the kitchen doorway fills you with hope. He strides into the kitchen, nerdy science t-shirt worn like a cape. You point hopelessly at your machine, ‘ples.’

Some clicking and keyboard pressing. A thorough stare at the black screen. And then he utters the damning words…

‘Have you tried turning it off and on again?’

Computing students don’t know shit!

What the fuck is the point in their degree?!

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